I took somewhat of a blog break, which was not planned. I'm noticing that I have a burst of inspiration to write in the Fall, which is where this blog began in 2019. Wow, 3 years ago on a random day at work while talking to one of my closet friends, I took a leap and made a blog.
While my blog hiatus was not planned, in retrospect it was intentional and needed. You see, I've been in a season of stillness since early this year. Maybe since around February.
I can always tell when I am transitioning into a new season of my life. Stillness comes over me and I just sit back and watch the things around me unfold in a way that is always revealing in every way that I needed.
Be Still is what God told me in February. I remember hearing those words in my head, randomly. I had just finished reading my Bible in entirety, and I thought to myself what is next on this spiritual journey that I've been on for the past 3-4 years? Just as clear as day, God said, Be Still. I then remember thinking, Be Still? What does that even mean...? You see, I am not a very still person. While I am the most introverted person around, I am constantly doing something. Doing, giving, helping. Stillness is not something I am good at. I always have a list of things to check off, my mind is always going and I'm always thinking of the next thing. Trying to always be prepared for "Life" (which is impossible).
Maybe that was the problem. Maybe in all of the things I just listed, I needed to Be Still so that I could clearly see what God needed me to see in this phase of my life. After fighting it for a few days, I became still.
You may be asking, okay, so God told you to be still? Then what?
I asked myself the same thing at first but months later I know now that my stillness meant hearing God more clearly. Sometimes when we are constantly on the go, we miss Gods quiet calls for us. We miss what He has planned for us.
Since that moment, I've been still in all aspects of my life. I've been still at work, still with friends, still with family. That does not mean that I have not been present or supportive but I've been more aware. Aware of the people that I never hear from unless I reach out, aware of how much time I put into others and not myself, aware of what it means to show up for me sometimes FIRST, aware of the fact that sometimes I just don't have anything to say, aware of how much I love the simplicity of my life.
In this stillness, I have learned so much about myself. Like the fact that nothing makes me happier than a cup of coffee or tea and pruning my flower gardens. I have learned that God will always, always be an anchor in my life. I have learned that though I am strong, I am human and this human needs to take more time to just take care of me sometimes. I have learned that I don't always need to say anything, to stop forcing interactions and understanding that is okay! I can still support and pray for those in my life, no matter if I talk to them daily or monthly or yearly. I have learned that I have the best support system in the world and I am so so blessed for that. I have learned how much work goes into making a house a home. I have learned that in between all the "WTH" moments that I have in a week, there is someone out there that would gladly take my small problems over their big ones. I have learned that life is as complicated as you make it. I have learned that I need to always stand up for myself but there is always a way to do it professionally and kindly. I have learned the power of actions. I have learned that I have of the best friends and family, flaws and all.
The only thing I did not learn is that I'm a sassy Christian woman with an OLD soul lol. I already knew that.
To be still does not mean to just stop; to stop living or to stop striving. It simply means to tap into your inner self, to clear out all of the distractions and clutter and just listen. Listen for your calling, listen for your next steps, listen for your peace, listen for God.
I guess what I'm saying is, in this season of stillness I found myself on a deeper level. You are never too old to learn, grow or change. I see things so clearly now, by the grace of God. I see exactly where God wants me to be, who I am in Him and all the areas that I still can grow. Stillness revealed to me, that everything is beautiful in its own way. Stillness revealed to me that this life on earth is temporary, but while I am here I will be present and strive daily to be the best version of myself.
Coming out of this stillness, I am a bit wiser than before. And for that I am grateful.
What season of life are you in? Take the time to find out so that you do not miss all that life has in store for you.
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