What did Queen Elsa Teach us? - Tea Talk

 Happy Tuesday! How crazy is it that it's December? 

If you know me well, you know I'm a die hard Frozen fan. Why? Because Elsa is my homegirl and she keeps it real, obviously lol. But seriously, Elsa taught us all how to "Let it Go" and to be true to ourselves, which is such a valid lesson when navigating life and relationships with people.

As we near the end of the year, I have been reflecting a lot about the concept of family. This year was a defining moment for me with a lot of family members. As if 2020 was not hectic enough, I realized where I stand with a lot of people and have since chosen to permanently social distance from them. That probably sounds harsh, but just because someone is your family, does not mean they get a pass to treat you like dirt, make you cry, try to ruin a special moment for you or just not be supportive at all. 

All of the above is something I experienced this year, unfortunately. It was made very clear to me during this pandemic that I had people that I am related to who are not in my corner. Words and actions, or even no actions at all can be very revealing. The sad thing is that people don't realize that once you say and do certain things, there is no going back. Everyone has their limits. So, for my own mental health and sanity, I have completely disconnected from "so called family" and I don't regret it. 

We all have those family members that we just tolerate. Yes, I said it. The ones who never seem to get their stuff together, the ones who are slightly jealous that you have life figured out a little more than they do, the ones who are constantly in competition with you, the ones who smile in your face but don't wish you well behind your back. You see, I've known this for some time but I've tried to make it work for the sake of the fact that "it's family". As if the fact that we are blood somehow makes it okay for them to not be a good person. But somewhere in there, I realized, those people are not adding any value to my life and haven't in a long time. They are not adding to my growth... mentally, spiritually or emotionally. So, I've removed myself. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, you are not obligated to have relationships with anyone (including family) that does not support you, help you grow or add some type of value to your life. You do not have to take stuff from people because it's your uncle, cousin, brother, grandma...whomever. 

Sometimes, you have to let people go if all they do is continue to hurt your feelings and disappoint you time and time again. Let them go. That doesn't mean you don't love them or wish them well, it just means that you are putting yourself first and sometimes that is necessary when dealing with toxic people. Stop letting negative people into your life, they will just steal your joy. Stop trying with people who don't hold up their share. STOP telling yourself "well, it's family".

Family does not guarantee anything. It does not mean that someone will be your biggest fan, will not talk about you behind your back, be honest with you, be your friend or even show up for you. Some people are not capable of even showing up for themselves. In other words, it's not about you, it's about them which is why you have to let them go or you will be dragged down with them. Family does not mean guaranteed loyalty or respect. Being related doesn't mean you will mesh perfectly with someone or have anything in common. Ya'll all of this is OKAY!

Your family are the people who support you, love you the way you are, root for you, encourage you, help you grow, check on you, calls you or shows up for you during important moments in your life. Family are the people who make you feel whole, who you laugh with but also cry on their shoulder. Family are the people who are truthful with you, even when it's hard. Family add something to your life! 

So ask yourself, who is your family? In some cases, your friends may be family to you more than your blood relatives. It does not have to be one size fits all and you do not have to feel guilty for not tolerating someone's bad behavior just because they're "family". It's time to let it go and move on from toxic people. Even if it is family. No one, I mean no one, is worth sacrificing your own happiness for. 

Channel your inner Queen Elsa and know when to let it go!

Mark 3:31-35

31 And his mother and his brothers came, and standing outside they sent to him and called him. 

32 And a crowd was sitting around him, and they said to him, “Your mother and your brothers are outside, seeking you.” 

33 And he answered them, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” 

34 And looking about at those who sat around him, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! 

35 For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother.”