I Got Stronger - Tea Talk

And just like that, it is November. How is it already November when it feels like 2020 just began? The year that seemed to be moving at the speed of a tiny snail, has sudden flown by.

Let me start by saying, I pray that you whoever is reading this out there is safe and healthy. Who would have thought that would be such a common thing to say? I say that to everyone now, "Be stay and stay healthy", as if it is the equivalent of saying "How are you".

2020 has been a whirlwind but to be honest, now that it is almost over I've realized that some good has come out of this craptastic year that has shaken up our entire world. ***For those of you who are reading this in the future, I'm referring to the COVID-19 outbreak that has changed how we all live our day-to-day lives.***  

2020 has made me STRONGER. Yes, I am already a pretty tough cookie but 2020 has made me resilient in a way I didn't know I could be. When the pandemic first started, my main concern was my wedding. The wedding that I had been planning for over 2 years. I cried many days wondering how we would pull off our August wedding in the midst of a global pandemic. This forced me to do the one thing I know how to do best, PRAY. I prayed hard, asking God to take this dreadful virus away, to heal the sick...for life to go back to the way it was. God answered me in a way that I wasn't expecting because instead of making all of the problems in the world go away, he made me stronger so that I could endure the current circumstances. He dried my tears, and put the spirit of courage inside of me. 

One day I woke up and it didn't matter that there was a pandemic. I knew that I was still going to have my wedding and it would still be beautiful. 

Yes, we had to cancel our Country Club venue and move things to my parent's backyard. 

Yes, we had to cut our guestlist from 125 to 45. 

Yes, I had to start from scratch and schedule tent rentals and catering. 

YES, it sucked. 

But you know what? 

It was okay because I was still marrying the love of my life. 

It was okay because God said it would be. 

My wedding was beautiful, despite the fact that there was tons of changes. I was still surrounded by my closest family and friends. We still had yummy food and cake. We still made it happen. 

The trick is, I had to muscle up some strength to deal with the fact that sometimes your plans aren't God's plans for you. I had to be strong and focus on what we could do, and not what we couldn't. Even our honeymoon was canceled, so we stayed at a hotel for a week that was 40 minutes or so from our hometown and still had the best time, eating yummy takeout, shopping, sight seeing and going to museums. You can have a good time anywhere.

The other obstacle was our new home being built, because of course the one year I have two major life events, there is a pandemic. The plan was to be moved just before the wedding but with COVID restrictions and supplies being on back order, that wasn't realistic anymore. Here we are in November, still waiting to move into our new home. The plus side is, with each passing day more progress is being made. I could have let this get me down. I could have been mad or upset. But I know, when God is ready for us to move into our beautiful new home, we will move. I also know that there are so many blessings that will be given to us for being humble and patient during this time. 

You see, all of this could've shaken my faith but it didn't. Here it is, 3 months into my marriage and I can tell you personally that God prepared me for those moments and for that, I am grateful. I see purpose and promise in all that happened.

This year has forced to me slow down, to take better care of myself, to solely lean on faith, to enjoy the small things and to stop trying to plan everything. You see, 2020 doesn't have to be all bad. It's all about perspective. Yes, we have to wear mask and limit who we see. Yes, we can't move around as freely as we did before BUT for just one second, stop thinking about what you CAN'T DO and think about what you CAN DO. You can still zoom your loved ones, you can still go shopping, you can still enjoy your favorite binge worthy shows, you can still call your friends and connect, you can still LIVE... it's just different. 

There are days where the COVID cases going up freak me out. I am human. There are days when I worry about the health of my family. Days where I find myself praying all day long because I'm dealing with combating the thoughts of fear and uncertainty, just like everyone else. But most days, I remind myself that with God I can get through anything. I focus on the great things, like the fact that my loved ones are healthy and have not been tested positive for COVID-19. This might be the first year in my life that I haven't taken having good health for granted. I see now that this is also a privilege. I continue to pray for this world; that we can get through this pandemic and can stop losing lives. I know God hears my prayers and just as swiftly as COVID-19 came, one day, it will go.

I pray that we all try to see what 2020 did to change us for the better. Ask yourself what habits you will continue after this is all over? For example, I plan to still try to slow down and enjoy the little things. I also hope to lean more on God in regards to planning, and knowing that it's always good to make a plan but if the plan has to change, that's okay too. I refuse to look back on this entire year and feel that it was wasted. I thank God for being here and being present.

“Perhaps you were born for such a time as this" (Esther 4:14)