Hello to anyone out there dropping by! I appreciate you taking the time to stop by my little corner of the internet. First off, the last time I wrote on my blog was in February and a lot has happened since February. So let's get into this tea.
Where do I even begin. 2020 started off "okay" to say the least. I was wrapping up wedding planning and mentally preparing for all the remaining things that I needed to get done in the next few months as the wedding and moving into our new home got closer. I was honestly starting to feel a bit overwhelmed with the long to-do-list I had but I was making it work. Aside from being slightly overwhelmed, I was so excited that my wedding year was finally here. 2020 was going to be MY YEAR! ... Then the Universe was like...."Or Nah".
By February, things were on the up-and-up. I made the final plans with the wedding venue, booked my shower location, booked the rehearsal dinner location and while it was now Winter, our house was scheduled to get back to construction once the weather broke. February is always a month I look forward to because that is when we typically have Winter Break at my job (I work for a College). During this time, my fiancé and I usually go on a trip. This year we had planned to go to Maryland, and I had some fun stuff planned. But days before we were scheduled to go, a death happened in my fiancés immediate family and just like that, trip canceled. First off, we were in shock by the sudden death but at the same time I was also drowning mentally at work and needed a break badly. So not only dealing with the loss but also dealing with the fact that I wouldn't be able to get time away from reality set in. I ended up still taking the days off that I had already planned, and just stayed home but it wasn't very relaxing at all because I was trying to make sure I was supporting my fiancé. Nonetheless, the funeral came and went and it was a beautiful home going ceremony.
Before I knew it, it was March. We had plans to reschedule our trip, I met with my bridal party to finalize wedding shower plans, work was going good, and my fiancé and I started to buy furniture in preparation for our new home! I was feeling good and looking forward to Spring being near. By March 12th everything changed because COVID-19 hit my State and it spread rapidly from there. My job shut down immediately, but luckily I've been able to work from home. I realized that apparently toilet paper was a hot ticket item, and I stocked up on whatever I could find. It was shocking that it hit so fast, and got so out of control but I was optimistic that it would be okay. But by the end of March, my shower scheduled for mid-summer was canceled because the location had lost so much business with COVID that they were facing closing permanently. I think that's when it really hit me that COVID may affect EVERYTHING that I had been planning for the last 2 years (moving and the wedding). April came and went fast, just more of the same with COVID cases rising and being stuck at home.
Fast forward, it has now been 63 days since we've been under the stay-home order in my State. Thank God, myself, family and friends are still healthy. Cases are starting to decline and things are slowly starting to reopen. We are in phase 3 of 6 of reopening the State. We still have to wear a mask everywhere we go but I don't mind if that keeps myself and others safe. While I am grateful for my health and still being able to work, I'd by lying if I said I haven't been ridden with anxiety some days of the unknown. Unknown has never been my strong area. I make a plan for everything. I think this is the first time in my life where I had such big things planned, and a pandemic is the deciding factor on when things could happen. But you know what, the pandemic doesn't get the final say. God does. God is in control and God only does good. So with that, I've been finding comfort in knowing everything will be fine. And while things may not happen the exact way I planned, they will happen and that's what matters.
My fiancé and I have a back-up plan so that we can still get married as planned this Summer, our house construction is starting back up, and most importantly, God is still GOOD. I am still blessed, even though this shit seriously SUCKS.
Where do I even begin. 2020 started off "okay" to say the least. I was wrapping up wedding planning and mentally preparing for all the remaining things that I needed to get done in the next few months as the wedding and moving into our new home got closer. I was honestly starting to feel a bit overwhelmed with the long to-do-list I had but I was making it work. Aside from being slightly overwhelmed, I was so excited that my wedding year was finally here. 2020 was going to be MY YEAR! ... Then the Universe was like...."Or Nah".
By February, things were on the up-and-up. I made the final plans with the wedding venue, booked my shower location, booked the rehearsal dinner location and while it was now Winter, our house was scheduled to get back to construction once the weather broke. February is always a month I look forward to because that is when we typically have Winter Break at my job (I work for a College). During this time, my fiancé and I usually go on a trip. This year we had planned to go to Maryland, and I had some fun stuff planned. But days before we were scheduled to go, a death happened in my fiancés immediate family and just like that, trip canceled. First off, we were in shock by the sudden death but at the same time I was also drowning mentally at work and needed a break badly. So not only dealing with the loss but also dealing with the fact that I wouldn't be able to get time away from reality set in. I ended up still taking the days off that I had already planned, and just stayed home but it wasn't very relaxing at all because I was trying to make sure I was supporting my fiancé. Nonetheless, the funeral came and went and it was a beautiful home going ceremony.
Before I knew it, it was March. We had plans to reschedule our trip, I met with my bridal party to finalize wedding shower plans, work was going good, and my fiancé and I started to buy furniture in preparation for our new home! I was feeling good and looking forward to Spring being near. By March 12th everything changed because COVID-19 hit my State and it spread rapidly from there. My job shut down immediately, but luckily I've been able to work from home. I realized that apparently toilet paper was a hot ticket item, and I stocked up on whatever I could find. It was shocking that it hit so fast, and got so out of control but I was optimistic that it would be okay. But by the end of March, my shower scheduled for mid-summer was canceled because the location had lost so much business with COVID that they were facing closing permanently. I think that's when it really hit me that COVID may affect EVERYTHING that I had been planning for the last 2 years (moving and the wedding). April came and went fast, just more of the same with COVID cases rising and being stuck at home.
Fast forward, it has now been 63 days since we've been under the stay-home order in my State. Thank God, myself, family and friends are still healthy. Cases are starting to decline and things are slowly starting to reopen. We are in phase 3 of 6 of reopening the State. We still have to wear a mask everywhere we go but I don't mind if that keeps myself and others safe. While I am grateful for my health and still being able to work, I'd by lying if I said I haven't been ridden with anxiety some days of the unknown. Unknown has never been my strong area. I make a plan for everything. I think this is the first time in my life where I had such big things planned, and a pandemic is the deciding factor on when things could happen. But you know what, the pandemic doesn't get the final say. God does. God is in control and God only does good. So with that, I've been finding comfort in knowing everything will be fine. And while things may not happen the exact way I planned, they will happen and that's what matters.
My fiancé and I have a back-up plan so that we can still get married as planned this Summer, our house construction is starting back up, and most importantly, God is still GOOD. I am still blessed, even though this shit seriously SUCKS.
If I've learned anything from COVID, it's been that sometimes God has other plans for us, and while a season in your life might suck... maybe it's preparing you for something amazing! Maybe everything does happen for a reason: to make us stronger, to make us have to lean on faith and have to stop and remember what really matters! So with that being said, find something to be grateful for everyday to get your mind off the craziness going on around you. Yeah, it's sucky right now but it won't last forever and when this is all over, remember all the things we take for granted and learn to appreciate those things even more because nothing is guaranteed in this life.
I pray for everyone out there to find comfort and peace during this time of uncertainty. Take time to be still. Be Safe & Stay Healthy.
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