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New Year? What Else is New

Well, here we are, a week into 2020. Wow. New Year, New Decade. A whole new blank slate to have a bigger, better year than the one before. I left 2019 feeling a bit, done. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted and on top of that I got my first cold in 5 years, yes, FIVE! Luckily, I work for a school, so we got 2 weeks off and I was able to rest. Resting is not my thing, so this was hard. The only downfall is, there's nothing like having time off work and having to get back into a routine after sleeping in til 10am for 2 weeks.

I feel like I've been waiting for 2020 for a while now, being that this is the year I get married and move into my new home! Lots of big, wonderful changes are coming my way. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little nervous, not to get married but just hoping everything falls into place and all the things we've been planning for the last two years (like our wedding) goes smoothly and stress free. DID YOU HEAR THAT UNIVERSE, STRESS FREE. So far, wedding planning has been a great process. We've paced ourselves well, so nothing has felt rushed or overwhelming. I can't wait to see everything come together and marry the love of my life.

I'm sure the cards will fall as they may, but I'll be glad when the day does come so I can stop getting all these random comments from people like "geesh, why have you been engaged for so long", "when is the wedding again, I forgot", "when are you moving", "what are you waiting for", "I might be busy during that time and can't make it". Yes, I get it. People get busy, people ask questions and just because this is a huge life changing event for me, I understand that aside from my few select family and even fewer select friends, life goes on for everyone else and they could care less. Noted.

I think this has really hit me over the past few months and honestly, I could do without the comments at this point. Especially as it gets closer and closer and I already have 100 things to get done. I don't need one more thing to worry about. So random-ass people at work, stfu please. My hubby-to-be is of course rational as always, and is like, "who gives a shit if these people comment, and who gives a shit if people don't want to come and support us; our real friends and family will be there with bells on and no complaints or excuses". Yes, I know honey, but still... it's nothing like trying to enjoy your HAPPY moments in life and having constant negative comments. Sigh. If your a part of my family, we'd say "that's nothing but the devil trying to steal your joy and feed you lies" LOL. If that is coming from my Mom or Aunt, that is said with a southern twang of course. 

Aside from that, I've started out the year strong with my new goals. So far I've started a 30 day yoga challenge (which is kicking my ass) and continuing on reading my bible daily (minus Saturday's). My other goals are pretty simple, like be nicer to myself, journal often, save money, take time to REST, and stop giving a fuck about all the shit that doesn't even matter. Easier said than done. As I always say, I am a work in progress.

As of January 1st, I currently have no boss. Which sounds amazing lol but it's weird in all honesty. The plus side is, my old boss is now just a colleague, which honestly is nice and puts us back at a level playing field. I feel that I ended 2019 getting closure from him for his mistakes. We're all human. Currently, we have an interim boss. Which is interesting. Not good or bad, just interesting. Our soon-to-be boss will be starting in Summer (apparently), and I'm a little uneasy about having this person as a boss after having two failed meetings with said-person, that left me feeling deflated, and it takes a LOT to deflate this girl.

Luckily, I don't stay down for long.

Each year, I do feel that I grow a bit more. And you aren't living if you aren't growing and learning, in my opinion. I hope to meet people where they are and see where that takes me in my relationships with people. I have no desire to put all of my effort into one sided situations in 2020, and I'm constantly reminding myself that that doesn't benefit me, so STOP. Again, work in progress.

I have a few fun trips planned that I am looking forward to. I have a few fun topics I plan to blog about. Lots of yarn that I need to use up. Hoping to be healthier. And I'm constantly reminding myself, quality over quantity in all aspects. I'm hoping to do what makes me happy. Of course I shall continue to be sarcastic, make weird jokes, snort when I laugh, tell it like it is and be the shoulder of many to cry on; I mean that's who I am.

But I'm done with the negative shit.

I'm done feeding into work drama, done with comments from people who don't know me or care to know me, and done giving a fuck this year. This is a big year for me, and I damn well deserve to be happy and enjoy every moment I can. So, that's my long mantra for 2020. The year I plan to take my power back from the negative ass vibes that try to consume me. Nah, not this year. This is my year. I claim it, I declare it and ask God to bless me along the way.

Whoever reads this, I hope this is your year too.

"This is my story, my book and I will no longer let anyone else write it nor will I apologize for the edits I make"

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